MTV is run by Terrorists...Well, maybe.

So MTV redesigned their logo… Big fucking whoop. Seriously, did you see the change? They just shortened it! If anything it looks worse. They’re so outdated it’s ridiculous, and they think that by creating more “Miscellaneous Money Making schemes that have nothing to do with Music” (as my friend Ms. Ramsy explains the “M” in “MTV” stands for) that no one will notice. WE noticed.

I think that channel has actually done more damage to our youth than anything else I can think of in the past 10-15 years. The Internet doesn’t hold a candle to the shit MTV has so malevolently crammed down our throats. I remember the beginning of the end when I would turn on the tube and start flipping hesitantly toward MTV hoping and praying that they would be playing videos of some worth. Didn’t take me long to realize that if I wanted to fancy a music video of any sort, I had to become even more nocturnal than I already was (damn you Skin-emax) and punish my eyes and ears with “popular”, painful pop-culture piss that some old fart decided was worth playing that night.

In fact, it can be alleged that MTV (please don’t sue me) is really run by terrorists and this has been their plan all along... Not to destroy us infidels head on, but to infect our vulnerable youth with poor values, low self-worth, and an overall terrible sense of fashion. By methodically dumbing down the state of our union to the brink of "Idiocracy" we'll become decrepit and assailable. Then Luke Wilson will have to save us. Only he can't... Because he's fat now... And he eats babies like Chiclets.

Yes it’s just a theory. And yes it’s far-fetched and straddles along the lines insanity… But in my humble opinion, it makes less sense to watch that overrated sewage they’re pumping. What if we just circle back to our dusty record collections, warped cassette players, and grainy 8-tracks, with open ears and clean eyes, in search of some sort of truth we’ve forgotten long ago... Kick back, spin some tracks and embrace them like your favorite body part.

Or we could all just change the fucking channel.