Top Ten Best Time Travel Movies (With Trailers)

Looper is kicking some space-time continuim butt in the box office with over $22.5 million big ones.  Now that's not anything to write home about, but it did get me thinking.

What are the top 10 best time travel movies?

I did some research, and was disappointed by some of the picks out there.  There are articles missing most of the classic time travel movies we all love so much.  So here are my top picks with the original trailers! Whether it's to eradicate personal life choices, save the world from an apocalypse, or pass a high school final exam, I think you'll agree with my choices...

1. 'Back To The Future' (1985)

Who can forget this?  Apparently a lot of the lists I found excluded this cult classic starring Michael J. Fox and Christopher Llyod.  Did you know Eric Stoltz was originally casted and even started filming the movie as Marty McFly, but was later pulled by Steve Spielberg and Robert Zemeckis, causing them to reshoot part of the film with Fox in the role. "Heavy"

2. '12 Monkeys' (1995)
This twisted film was released to critical praise and has grossed approximately $168.4 million worldwide.  Pretty good considering Universal only gave them a budget of $29.5 million - low for a Hollywood sci-fi flick - due to 'Waterworld' blowback.  Yeah, you remember that tub of dirty bath water.  For '12 Monkeys', Brad Pitt was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor, and won a Golden Globe for his performance.




3. The Terminator (1984)
James Cameron's sci-fi thriller starring the "Governator", Michael Biehn, and Linda Hamilton will always be one of my favorites.  The movie topped the American box office for 2 weeks, helped launch the film career of Cameron, consolidated that of Schwarzenegger, and led to several blockbusting sequels.  Originally the studios wanted O.J. Simpson to play the Terminator and rock musician Sting to play Kyle Reese.  Whoa, glad that didn't happen.




4. Time After Time (1979)
This classic stars Malcolm McDowell ('Clockwork Orange'), David Warner ,and Mary Steenburgen.  The film concerns British author H. G. Wells and his fictional use of a time machine to pursue Jack the Ripper into the 20th century.  By the way, this was Corey Feldman's first film role.




5. Looper (2012)
Still in theaters, this film stars Bruce Willis, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Emily Blunt.  This is the 3rd time Bruce Willis' character time travels and encounters his younger self... The first was '12 Monkeys' and the second was 'The Kid'.  'The Kid' sucked.




6. The Butterfly Effect (2004)
Yikes. This psychological thriller gets a little rough with the prison scenes, but it's such a good movie.  And that's hard to say, especially since it's Ashton Kutcher we're talking about here.  The butterfly effect is a popular hypothetical example of chaos theory which explains how small, insignificant occurrences may lead to large unforeseen consequences over time.  In other words, don't mess with time travel or you're screwed.




7. The Time Machine (2002)
Guy Pearce stars in this science fiction film loosely adapted from the 1895 novel of the same name, again, by H. G. Wells.  Did you know?  The director, Simon Wells, is the great-grandson of H. G. Wells.




8. Primer (2004)
I had to throw this one in here as a nod to indie films everywhere.  'Primer' is about the accidental discovery of a means of time travel.  The film was written, directed, and produced by Shane Carruth and was completed on a budget of only $7,000!  It won the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance in 2004 before securing a limited release in US cinemas, and has since gained a cult following.




9. Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)
I LOVE the 80s!  And what are the 80s without John Cusack and Chevy Chase!  These are just a few of the reasons why I had to include this recent comedy also starring Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, Kellee Stewart, & Rob Corddry.  Other reasons to love it are the soundtrack and that most the stars made their decision to join the film based almost entirely off of the title alone. Warning: NSFW




10. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
Speaking of time...this seems so long ago!  I had to bring this movie in as number 10 only because I'm fairly sure there isn't anyone who doesn't know Keanu Reeves in this goofy role... plus I'm pretty sure there's not a soul out there who knows who his costar Alex Winter ('The Lost Boys') is.

If Star Wars Were Real: A Look Back In History

When I'm not in the trenches of entertainment publicity, or at a new speakeasy having a whiskey, I'm probably geeking out to sci-fi and government conspiracies.  No, I'm not wearing TV series uniforms and making alien hand salutations, but I am loving Star Wars as it will always be major part of my youth and movie memories.  Now what if it was really part of our history??

Directly from the folks at ISWWR (If Star Wars Were Real) comes this collection of historical photos featuring aspects of the Star Wars universe in the real world.  Wouldn’t history be so much cooler if these were true?  Who’s to say they’re not?

Which is your favorite historical photo!

We Built It, A Misguided Campaign

HA! "We Built It" is the Republican Party's defining theme of their misguided campaign... And it's based on something the President never actually said.  Republicans and Fox News doctored video to their liking when in fact Obama said "...you didn't build that..." while referring to the infrastructure (roads, bridges, etc) the government builds to maintain stability in entrepreneurship and the working class.

It's well documented and pathetic.  How stupid do they think we are?  Oh right, they appeal to ignorance.

A Few Things NOT To Do While On a Date...

I have a need to vent. And ladies, I apologize in advance if this offends.

Here are some things NOT to do when on a date... these all happened. These will not score any fun points, nor would I likely be down for another round.

Don't...

• be mean to service people. It's not cool and very unattractive despite your looks.
• complain about the wine list by telling the managers "It sucks. You picked the worst wines from every region." That's just embarrassing.
• ask me to sleep with you and inquire whether I have herpes in the same sentence, out loud for everyone to hear. 
• tell me you have never been turned down for sex....especially after the above question. 
• take my wallet jokingly, then pay everyone's tab with it at the end of the night....on a first date. That's not funny. 
• get us kicked out of a taxi.
• get so wasted you fall and split your head open for an ER visit and 30 stitches. Buzz kill. 
• inform me that your ex-boyfriend is Ryan Gosling. 
• tell me you'd love to date me, but only on Mondays thru Wednesdays because the other days you're raging.
• call my friend when you want to talk to me. I have a phone and it makes them feel awkward.
• list off the luxurious brand names you're sporting. I'm not impressed.
• tell me that you only communicate via text and you don't talk on the phone...ever. 
• start preaching how much you support Mitt Romney. Discovered this is a bigger turn-off than I expected. 
• dress up like it's club night everywhere. 
• make everything about Texas or Florida. We get it, you're proud of your home state. Now move on. 
• wear a baby-tee when I'm taking you out to dinner. I will not be eating the food off your belly. 
• agree to dinner if you hold a spoon like it's a shovel. 
• tell me I'm Puerto Rican.
• tell me I'm Greek. 
• ask me if I know any terrorists. I am one.

It's not all bad. I do enjoy the adventure and of course meeting new and interesting people. But these are the more recent negative experiences that lead me to believe there is no shortage of bat shit crazies out there. 

Happy hunting.

Movie Art: STAR WARS UNDEAD

It was only a matter of time that someone would combine the undead and ‘Star Wars’. Jeff Hulligan of Cleveland, Ohio, did just that when he conceived this twisted art series to commemorate the 30th anniversary of ‘The Empire Strikes Back’. They were originally created primarily using acrylic paint and ink on torn paper applied to wood canvas.

Jeff is selling prints of all six characters for $50 on Etsy. I just bought a set! Click here to do the same.

Below are individual images of the series, including Stormtrooper, Darth Vader, Rebel Pilot, Boba Fett, C-3PO & R2-D2.

I'm Going To Win The Lotto Then Get Stabbed To Death

#justsaying.

With this week’s Mega Million Lottery fever, and today’s $500 million drawing, it occurred to me that if and when there’s a winner that lucky bastardo still has to claim it. And for arguments sake let’s just say that person is me - because I am so going to win this motherfucker. Now, I won’t be stupid enough to walk into the local 7-Eleven asking to double-check or even for the prize, but I’m sure some schmuck has done that. But wait… I can also throw caution to the wind and rely on those wonderful people at the post office by mailing my ticket with the address clearly marked for all to see:

California Lottery 


730 North 10th Street 


Sacramento, CA 95811


Attn: Prize Payments

Yeah no. I’ll take my chances on the road, thank you very much. What concerns me more here are these so-called “California Lottery District Offices”, where I can take my winning ticket to and claim my glorious prize. Fair enough. Except that I noticed these offices are located in not so great areas. In fact, I’ll be so bold and call them shady (shitty). For example, the nearest lottery office to most Angelinos would be in fucking Van Nuys. Seriously? It’s strategically placed by a strip mall with a Food4Less and Denny’s in case I wanted to endure my last taste of poverty with a Grand Slam Special.

Let’s also consider the criminal element of not only Van Nuys, but of the entire city staking out these locations. It would be suicide to even walk up to this office after the drawing. They do announce that there is a winner. Nobody has a clue as to who, but you know damn sure I’m going to claim it within 180 days. How sketch would this be for me? Things going through my head would be: Where do I park? Van Nuys? Do I hire security? Police? Can I even trust them? Van Nuys? Should I dress in disguise? Delivery man perhaps? Van Nuys?

Well say I decide that The Valley isn’t where I’d like to end my life. Here are the other safe and secure Southern California Lottery District Offices where I can also surely be absconded of my wildest dreams by armed thugs:

Inland Empire: Yeah, the 909. Also, the foreclosure capital of the world. But hey, no one really needs the money out there.

Santa Fe Springs: Known for it’s industrial factories and piss-poor air quality. In fact, the office is located in between truck yards and railways. Woot-woot.

Santa Ana: Ungodly hot area where today’s news headline reads, “Ax Handle Beating Death Case”. Pass.

Regardless of the risks I’m winning the lotto tonight then rolling the dice at one of these murderous locations soon after. 

Huzzah.

-Dre

The Heineken guy is kind of a dick.

So I just noticed something about this Heineken commercial 'The Date'. This guy is supposed to be some uber cool beer drinker that we all want to be like.

But I think he's actually kind of a dick... Here's why:

First, he avoids the door fee by sneaking in the back entrance of a club where he decides to fuck up the kitchen. He flicks dough at some hard working asian cook, then he throws a fish they're preparing. They can't wait for him to leave. And when he does he tries to steal a beer off a waiter's tray. His hand is quickly slapped away. Mooch.

He goes through swinging doors leading into the club where he immediately makes fuck-me eye contact with the hostess. Hey asshole, aren't you on a "date"? I mean, you've nearly been yanking this poor girls arm off dragging her behind you.

Next there's the eel aquarium where I'm sure the proprietors don't want anyone spooking them by smacking the glass. Hasn't this guy ever see a "DO NOT TAP GLASS" sign on fish tanks? Needless to say the eels freak out and start leaping out of the damn tank. He can't help himself.

Did you see it? He immediately tries to steal another Heineken off of a waiter's tray. Once again, his hand is slapped away. Persistent mooch.

He runs into this magician who, with a wave of his hands, produces a fantastic floating bunny out of thin air. Holy crap! The man might have well turned water into wine. And what does our favorite free-loader do? He makes a mockery of the man's profession by pretending to pull a Heineken out of his mouth. The magician is lucky to get his beer back and is clearly pissed. I'd watch my back if I were him.

Now he gets caught up in the show onstage where a chinese dragon is performing behind a lit-up, thin screen. He smacks the dragon in the face, dives through the screen tearing two huge holes, starts dancing like an idiot, and throws his date onto a chair. Clearly she's high as shit because she can't feel the pain of both her arms being dislocated from her torso by now.

Finally a waiter brings this free-loading, terrorizing liability and his smack-loving space cadet a Heineken in hopes that he'll stop tearing up the joint. It works, but the path of destruction is undeniable.

The club is thinking of no longer serving Heineken.

Nobody likes this guy.